It’s been a little while since I’ve written. I don’t like to write things when they don’t have a happy ending. This post is still up in air on that one.
I’ve spent the last several weeks in mental inventory mood. It went something like this. . .what “things” (ideas, memories, thoughts) do I need and which things do I need to send packing. Things needed closure. And other things I just needed to just get over. Does any of this make any sense?
I have struggled a lot this past eight months or so, fortunately over the last few months I’ve begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Peace of mind is something that is hugely sought after. People pay lots of money for pills to calm nerves and classes to teach inner silence. For those who have peace of mind they cannot fully understand the one who struggles with the absence of it.
I have always felt that I have had a good handle on life. I typically didn’t “sweat the small stuff”. I have always been good at being rational and having a “good head on my shoulders”. I’m the happy one but life isn’t always fair.
People you love hurt you. . .badly. The endless hours you invest in them don’t always bring the outcome you hope for. Silence is not always golden. Your kindness can appear self righteous. Even when people say they love you; people make mistakes.
“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances in which we live, we are drawn into a world pool of thoughts and can have neither peace or tranquility.” Elder Thaddeus of Vitovinica.
Here is where I am today.
I ‘m ok.
Forgiveness is daily.
Grace to others is a gift to me.
Anger breeds sickness in our soul.
and the other stuff I got over.