I was watching an old movie the other night. Home without the hubby because son had a late soccer game and I needed to pick him up, make dinner etc. I laid alone lying in my bed as I watched the two main characters that seemed to have this amazing romantic marriage. They still laughed at each other’s jokes, made love, went to parties with friends and ended every night with a good night kiss.
It got me thinking. . .
Why don’t I have that?
Then the dog barked and it woke me out of my stupor.
In my moment of vulnerability I thought for a second that “mine wasn’t good enough”. Ok, so comparing my life to a movie is the silliest and most harmful thing I could ever do to my relationship. I know it’s what you all are thinking and I’m glad you’re thinking it.
So let’s move on. . .
After my moment of insanity I did realize something though . . .If you want love, you’ve got to give love. I think I heard that in a song somewhere.
Anyway I had been feeling a little lack of love lately. It could have been due to work stress, children stress or just plain old complacency, whatever the case I had felt our fire dwindling. I can vaguely even remember conversations where I sounded like “you. . .love. . .time with me. . .ugh” .
What I did take away from the two amazingly in love couple I saw on the television (who are not real btw) is that love is a two way street (another song). It’s easy to sit around and blame my hubby for not showing me enough love but instead of sitting around blaming and hoping things change sometimes you’ve got to take the bull by the horns and lead it to water. I mixed two analogies but you know what I mean.
Be the change you want to see in the world or your world for that matter.
You want more love? Go out and love more; be more loving. You want truth? Be truthful. You want respect? Be respectful? You want more date nights with your hubby? Plan them. It works. I promise!
There’s time in a marriage where “my part” might have to include some of “his part” for a while and vise versa. That’s what marriage is all about when you think about it. We share this life equally but there will be times when my load is just too heavy or the pieces in his load aren’t quite fitting. I’m glad to jump in and I know he feels the same for me. It’s not just our gift to each other but our gift to God.